Of legends are us.a as a

2015,
Bridges over troubled waters  –
This wasn’t a normal run of the mill meeting for me to attend. It was certainly normal though for me to be here – in a different capacity, or standing. Evander was troubled, in a mood even. In fact the whole room seemed to be smothered in a peculiar atmosphere.
I was about to witness Evander Arasto say something he really didn’t want to. Or maybe he did want to, just not in the present surroundings. It must have taken a huge effort. He (on the face of it) did usually give ground to his wife whilst I had known him. No problem there, it’s normal.
Still to learn, later, was that Evander valued me more than I had thought. During this extraordinary meeting there were some compromises to be made and I was right on the edge of them. Just like falling dominoes, I would either be the first or the last to topple. Maybe even be at both ends, as it turned out. All things considered, Evander’s choices were simply one or the other; give ground, or go against the flow in terms of how the dynamics at home appeared.
Whilst I was sat there at the kitchen table I picked up the weird vibes. Ground breaking stuff judging by the seriousness of the tones that were evidently lacking as I sat there. Nothing being said, what reason to be here? Something was brewing, I could sense it. Evander Arasto averted what appeared as a bit of a stare from Medeia Odessa who was sat opposite in facing him, but by his side. ‘I saw that’, was my initial reaction to nothing at all if you happened to be a stranger in the room. I witnessed a process which looked from my angle as though Medeia Odessa was thought willing Evander not to say exactly what she thought he was about to say.
I sat there wondering, waiting for something to be said. I was the whole reason why we were all there together that day. It was me who Evander Arasto wanted to speak with and it was I who had gotten the invitation to be there.
Evander’s expression changed from a sort of moving uncertainty to a more of a firm, fixed determination. The words then spilled out. It was a wrench I could tell. A bit like breaking an oath. He at last found the courage to say his piece, and in front of his wife too. What a hero, no doubt about it.
“I wanted to leave you some money Jeramiah, but she wouldn’t sign the form”. He nodded in his wife’s direction. “She wouldn’t sign it”, he said again.
Huh, well isn’t that the story of my life. An unbelievable statement that was worth more than the money itself. How he must have been so at odds, but being the man of honour that he was, couldn’t keep this to himself any longer. I needed to know, it seemed. To have wanted to make such a gesture let alone discuss it amongst us, he therefore must have suspected that time was short. It was certainly a bold statement in front of his wife.
I was boggled again. How many times was Medeia Odessa going to interfere with matters that were not her concern. Evander saw some value in me, so much so that he wanted to leave me some money. To me that meant everything. Solid confirmation that I was a trusted colleague. I’d always known it anyway, or at least considered it. If I thought deeper, I’m guessing he had even worked out the missing bits regarding the wasp fiasco, and subsequent requests and / or suggestions by his wife from nearly twenty years previously.
Back then it was me who felt as though I had done something wrong. Of course, I knew I hadn’t. It had been unfortunate that I had been stung multiple times and an unfortunate choice of action – stripping off. At the time it seemed entirely appropriate.

Acceptance of Medeia Odessa took some swallowing that was for sure. But I wasn’t about to get into an argument there in the kitchen.
Maybe though, Evander had wanted me to question her why. It’s possible I suppose. Why refuse to sign the form? I could have made her realise what a mistake it was.
Medeia’s earlier look of concern and her support that appeared as though it was forthcoming was nothing but a fudge.
Evander hadn’t wanted things to be this way. He was a man of standards. He also wasn’t to know how I would react, possibly fearing even what may take place.
I felt sorry for him. He had had to explain to me a few home truths and maybe any answers, or replies he got from me were not what he expected or wanted. The truth was out and so was her secret.
Evander went on to say “It wasn’t very much Jeramiah, it wasn’t even that much, just a small amount for me to show you the importance of your company. And she won’t sign the form to let me do that”.
I took the middle man approach. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right, either way, that was how I sorted it. I just had to ensure we all walked away from this in one piece.
Medeia Odessa only saved herself by saying precisely nothing productive at all. She’d already made clear her own assumption of how things were going to be with that ridiculous statement regarding the dilapidated garden.
I was clearly on my way out.
I’m not going to say I had any disrespectful wishes over Medeia Odessa, however, there’s bad and there’s bad.

1993,
Double blow – 
Three years of hard fought marriage, not to mention the nine and a half years of going steady before that were all for nothing at the end of the day.
My view on marriage had been all good. What’s wrong with monogamy if you want only to settle with that person. I guess myself and the ex-wife had opposing ideas as to how marriage should be run.
‘Lets face it, and be honest with yourself mate’, I would often think to myself. I’d ended up married to a lunatic. Goodness knows, I’d tried. I just didn’t know her.
Would have helped if the wife was in any way interested. There was me left wondering ‘why get married in the first place’? the whole meaning of it never meant anything to her.
It was a waste of time and effort. I’d put effort in where I maybe shouldn’t have, I was that desperate to look for answers. It wasn’t as if I had only approached others – in search of a solution. I’d talked with the wife until there was noting left to talk about. I’d done the careful approach, the serious approach, the placatory approach, I’d tried every which way possible to fond a solution to work things out. There simply was no effort from her, no acceptance of anything wrong doing. Either I accepted things the way they were or I was in the wrong.
Should I be fair to her? Well it was made clear to me after week one of marriage that there was a simple choice – fuck off or be a lodger!
I’d tried my best. Sadly it wasn’t as if the trying was from both sides. And that was the fundamental failing of it. If only one person wants it to work, it won’t.
There had been another reason for her getting married to me. I eventually had worked that one out. It all made sense at a later date. It didn’t for one minute mean it was acceptable. I thought I knew the wife in every way, and on the surface I did.
Go below the surface and that’s where things are not the same.

I knew she was cheating around at work, but then a work affair was unlikely to resemble anything other than an affair. I didn’t think she had a serious offer from elsewhere. Cheating was one thing, moving out was another. Why get married only with a view to move on with someone else? That makes no sense. Unless of course she moved someone else in.
There was a lot riding on potentially being left on the shelf – to coin a phrase. Simply put, would another person be so accommodating.
She’d wanted her independence from living with her parents. She’d wanted marriage to the point of overkill with a wedding designed to belittle all others. She’d wanted a house; the details of which were thoroughly embedded into the act of getting married. She had a bloke who stood by her.
She had changed over the years. She was an attractive lady and being curious is not a crime.
Upon returning home from work one day I mentioned to her that I had to find a way out of this, or around it. But I needed compliance or participation or anything that would mean it involved both of us.
And I guess that was the last straw. I was about to witness she devil.
There didn’t appear to be any climb down and no desire to try, move on, explain, or anything at all. Just non stop violence. I wasn’t even sure if she understood when I put it to her that enough was enough. I would be leaving.

Separate –
I spent a month living with my own parents back home. Felt like a lonely month after a go at married life. Gave me time to think though.
Foolishly I returned to the married life once again after the trial month away. It had to be worth the effort to carry on. I didn’t see it as a rescue mission, more of an allegiance to the oath that I had made in the church.
I’d done my best to explain the situation to everyone here, everyone who deserved an explanation. I’d even tried to explain to her parents. We’d hit a brick wall there. A blurted out explanation by Abbadon Amon ensuring I got the gist of what made their world go around. Was it blackmail? Was it worry? Was it kindness? Was it power?
I don’t know. It was a squeeze for sure.
They’d been good to us giving all that money to buy a house. But Oh I wish I could genuinely say how nice of them that was.
My parents were ace as far as I was concerned, all the support needed and none of the interference. Couldn’t ask for more.

It wasn’t to last as long as I had hoped for; the reunion and going back home to married life.
Eight words after returning and whilst standing on the doorstep on the way into the house was enough to confirm to me that I had wasted my time thinking it was worth any bother at all.
I was pleased she’d made changes to the way she looked. She on the other hand didn’t agree with my tone. It wasn’t meant as an insult.
And so again after split and break up all over again did we end up going down the route of living apart and the whole new process of divorce.

Stung –
I had a solicitor working for me who in due course was to let me know I was to be served with a writ. To be heard in the county court. A writ no less for the whole sum of the money that had been given to both Rhoda Acantha and I as a wedding present three years earlier, ordering me to pay it back. All of it.
Rhoda and her parents were out of control. Marriage break up is not supposed to involve the parents in this way. A bit of recrimination is one thing, trying to bankrupt me is entirely another. That money he had given to us, his own daughter and myself, was still in the possession of his daughter. She still lived in the house of which the money was used to buy. It was only ever going to be that house which that money would buy, I was made fully aware of that. Now I had nothing to do with the house any longer. I had moved out. 
Had I not left in the most resigned of manner? I hadn’t made life difficult for any of them, if anything I had made it easy for them. I couldn’t think of a single morally right reason for him to demand this money back.
A warranted return to see Rhoda Acantha was therefore put into place. Upon confronting Rhoda Acantha about this I was told by her that it wasn’t only me the money had to be returned from, it was from her too! Well how about that? Things were worse than I suspected, what kind of dad would do a thing like that? Hang on a minute though – I demanded from her to see the writ issued to her, as the writ issued to me made no mention of paying back half of the original gift, but the whole lot. Her reply was that I would just have to accept it, take her word for it.

Screwed –
I had a lot of time to think in those days. OK, so I did initiate divorce from the daughter of a very bitter Abbadon Amon and his wife. ‘Huh, if only they knew; I’d had a marriage proposal from his other daughter whilst with Rhoda Acantha – from her sister no less.
Weirdly, I’d been around to see Rhoda a few times since the official split. Just to tie up loose ends. It looked like dating from the outside. Go to the cinema to keep things in a good atmosphere. No need to squabble. Get things sorted. One such day upon return from the cinema I felt it necessary to mention a couple of things on my mind.
Things like – I was not going to be paying these folk back any money.
She didn’t need to know that I felt a little let down by my own solicitor. So much so that I was the one left to find a solution to a fast approaching deadline.
I was done with all the toing and froing. I would find a solution, I had to.
I wasn’t interested in Rhodas’ plan B which would involve me starting all over again with her, but in a position of being effectively single and divorced from her.
Time alone got me thinking. They wanted money paid back – from me, money that had never really been given to me. I had signed a form in relation to that money. They had said it was for a stated purpose, whereas it was coming to light that it was for a very different purpose. I hadn’t read the form for that very reason. They knew I wouldn’t look twice, after all, why disbelieve anything they would tell me. Looks like lies from where I’m at. I think it’s about time they pay me back some money.
Subsequently, I put this to Rhoda Acantha and demanded my deposit back; the money as a deposit that I had put into this house that I was no longer living in. She hurriedly gathered paper and pen and wrote out an IOU note and signed it, flinging it over to me. She didn’t like it, but it kept the peace. Not so much a mistake by her as a confirmation that there was some foul play going on here.
My intentions were that she would take on the house in its entirety, I would have my deposit money back (although I would forfeit all my mortgage payments), the money donated by her parents would be right back where they wanted it – where it always had been, and they would not demand any money back from me that they had falsely claimed to have loaned to me.
The scribbled IOU note was flung at me. I scooped it up off the floor before she could change her mind.
Rhoda Acantha was a bit surprised. I was taking it seriously.
“I hope your happy now” she screamed at me. She was upset. As a highly intelligent woman the fact that I might have worked things out wasn’t lost on her.
I left for home.

1994 –
I was happy with myself. I had gotten Rhoda Acantha to admit to me the truth – in so many words.
It was a revelation. One that I was now sure of.
Time was passing and the writ hadn’t hidden itself away. The court date loomed closer and a few times when I had been parked in that road near to the house of which I was still part owner (on paper at least) whilst visiting friends, notelets did appear under the windscreen. Notes written by Rhoda Acantha to request meeting up before I go home.
It was sad that in all her world a house meant more than anything. I was aware that she already owned one as a gift from her parents upon turning eighteen. She didn’t need to go to these extremes to get her hands on another.
She did need to go to these extremes however to get a house with a live in husband. At least a live in husband who would be compliant with her take on life as it should be.

On one such occasion, I avoided my obvious choice to go home, and as asked to do so did then tap on the front door belonging to Rhoda Acantha. She invited me in and after some small talk proceeded to write me a cheque. The cheque (a cheque for the whole amount of my percentage of the deposit) was then presented to me in what appeared as a genuine act of good faith.
Well I hadn’t asked for it. Her guilt conscience must have gotten the better of her. Plus of course, (as it came to light later), she still had a mind to recovering the situation to include me. Only by then we wouldn’t have been married anymore.
That was not going to work.
Rhoda Acantha all of a sudden became very friendly and asked me to check out her new bedroom.
I went upstairs to have a look. It didn’t feel right. It was a relief to enter the bedroom and find it empty except for the furniture.
The bedroom furniture was definitely new. I took in the surroundings and sat there on the side of the bed contemplating, facing the open doorway, wondering why she had asked me to come upstairs and have a look. She wouldn’t have wanted me of all people to know what a mess it was, that she hadn’t tidied up.
I was trying to figure out why the change of heart. None of this scruffiness represented who she was.
I suspected something was not quite right. Just as I was about to move to get up I heard Rhoda Acantha coming up the stairs. As I sat there, Rhoda wondered into the doorway from the landing. ‘What do you think’? she said.
“Well yeah, it’s ok I guess”. That was my reply. It seemed a stupid question really, it was just a bedroom. Or was she referring to the fact that she was stood there in her underwear.
With that she climbed onto my lap.
As she began to wiggle around I manoeuvred out from beneath her. She ended up standing there watching me head towards the doorway.  I made it clear that I didn’t come here for this and walked down the stairs.
I made my excuses and left for home.
I still had this writ hanging over me and she clearly did not. I’d been softened up a bit by having my deposit money returned to me. Then a bit of hanky panky and before you know where you are you’re just right back where you started. Nice touch! Just soften me up even more – the easy way. A cheque could be cancelled anytime after issue so I wasn’t about to be tricked by a very thin line that was too easy to cross.
Later and unexpectedly, by telephone, I was asked by Rhoda Acantha to pay her a visit, a special visit this time. Which I did. I went around to visit just as asked.
I was hopeful that she had had a change of heart, the court start date was in two days’ time.
I turned up when I was supposed to and was asked in once she had answered the door.
She wasted no time. “You do know the court start date is in a few days don’t you” she said to me. She was quick to add that she hoped I had found a way of finding the money.
My mind rewound to that recent evening in the bedroom. Yes, I had been played, but no, not completely. It could have been worse. I found myself congratulating myself and my own strong will. I had not fallen foul of her temptations and there was nothing she could hang over me.
The last thing I had wanted was to start all over again with the same woman, although that was beginning to look a little less likely right now. A momentary worry that I was all out of options fuzzed my mind for a short time. It was nice of her to remind me how she had given me so many chances and it needn’t have been like this. The question here is why does it have to be like this anyway? This isn’t a television soap drama series, it’s real time – playing with the life of an innocent person.
Then I thought about the house. I thought about all the work I had put into it to increase its appearance, its qualities and its practical usefulness. I thought about how she hadn’t been there when I had done all the work because she had been out working.
Then I started to think about how that house sort of had my stamp on it. Looking further it had more than a stamp on it. There was such a thing as Deeds; which I suppose between Rhoda’s family and herself they had either overlooked or assumed I wasn’t sensible enough to take into account that those Deeds are instrumental in the ownership of a property.
And I saw the answer.
Rhoda says “See you in court then Jeramiah. I’m really not joking”.
I says back to her, “Yep, see you in court”.
Well she hadn’t seen that one coming. “What do you mean” she says, “You don’t have the money and you can’t get it, what do you think will happen to you, this is not a joke you know”.
So I said back to her “Like I said, see you in court”.
She started to get a little hysterical.
“Look” I said “I don’t appreciate your dad chasing me for money I don’t owe. What does that say about your family, your mum, your dad, YOU. It’s pretty fucking scandalous whichever way you look at it.
You know, I feel sorry for whoever you eventually get hooked up with, assuming you ever do. You have no idea how to treat people and I have no regret about divorcing you. As for this fucking house, keep it. I never did like it, it wasn’t my choice. I hope you’re both very happy together. And like I said, see you in court”.
I opened the front door and started walking out.
“You can’t just go now, how do you think this will play out in court”. She was proper angry by now as she screamed at me.
I turned around and replied to her “Yeah, how do you think it will play out in court? I imagine it will be thrown out on the grounds of illegality. The local press will have a field day, but I tell you what, I’m not signing this house over to you. You can live in it, you can pay the bills associated with it and you can pretend it’s yours, but my name is on the Deeds and it isn’t coming off.
She was proper fucked now.
I carried on – “You could cancel this whole fiasco and on the grounds that this is the end of it – legally binding, I could be persuaded to sign this place over, but only on those grounds. Writ gets cancelled first, the house gets signed to you second, end of. You may have the front door keys back, but you don’t own the house, it’s half mine. See yah”.
I had the proof I wanted, I had the deposit money back.
I went home.

Deliverance –
Swiftly and without any written reason to indicate foul intention from them, the county court writ was cancelled in full. I moved on and discovered how nice other people can be.
It’s hard moving on from a twelve and a half year relationship. It’s not easy to understand or come to terms that not everyone is the same.
You know it, but you also know that everyone has two sides. It is too easy from that knowledge to imagine that everyone is the same.
Rhoda Acantha was a lost soul. She was seemingly of the understanding that Jeramiah would just wonder back into her life and start all over again.
Whatever the fallout as a result of being divorced, maybe in the early months afterwards it was a bit too much to absorb. Maybe she didn’t have the confidence in finding a soul mate all over again. For me, I didn’t care. All the actions perpetrated by her and her family taught me one thing – maybe I was better than they gave me credit for. And that was inspiration for me, giving me the edge over them.
Later in the year I was to receive another telephone message from Rhoda Acantha asking for me to come over for a chat. By then the whole divorce shambles was history. I did as I was asked and made the effort to go and see her.
I knocked on the front door when I arrived at her house. Stood on the doorstep, I allowed Rhoda to chat away as though nothing had ever happened. She was friendly enough, all smiley and chatty. So she gets right to the point and asks me ‘please to come back and we can start again.’
That was pretty much as I expected. I kind of knew it would go this way. It must have been hard for her too, she’d only ever known me in a close relationship from the age of 15 to 28 years old.
The act of divorce was a charitable offering from myself in a way, as I knew she would only ever wonder. Like I said, curiosity isn’t a crime.

2015 –
Garden:
Evander Arasto was upset. His wife was not the supporting other half, it appeared. He was obviously thinking about the long term future. She on the other hand wasn’t there for him.
I smoothed things over as best as I could. This wasn’t a normal gardening day and for that I was thankful – for once. I could go back home and distance myself from it
What with the memory from years ago when I had had to do battle with the one person who was supposed to be closest to me. And now this. A woman so bitter that she thinks it right to stop her own husband from making his own choices and effectively his own will.
But the work would carry on as normal for the time being. Until it was made clear I was no longer wanted I just had to turn up as usual.

The next time I turned up for work in the garden of Evander Arasto he wasn’t there. I asked Medeia Odessa of his whereabouts.
He was apparently in the hospital, but would be right out soon. When I asked her what the problem was I was fobbed off.
Why couldn’t she trust me? Had I not shown complete trust with her over the years? Or had I wound her up so much that the act of revenge was all she was interested in.
It was obvious I cared for Evander and was interested in knowing what was going on. She was being incredibly disrespectful. It didn’t match her mature years.

The weeks went by and I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t getting the whole story here. I would ask when I next went around there as to where Evander Arasto was.
She never once made any attempt to include me in anything to do with Evander.
After a second appearance on the next fortnightly weekend to do some more gardening and having gotten no further forward in understanding what the issues were with Evander, I went home deflated once again. This was going on too long. I decided that if by the next time I turned up Evander was still not there I would go to see him in hospital myself.
It was all very well waiting like this if just turning up to do gardening was all I was bothered about. That wasn’t for me how it was. I valued Evander as a friend and boss man. I cared about him. I didn’t care about her.

So the next fortnightly weekend came by again and I sat in my car in the driveway of Evander Arasto, with time for a quick cup of tea. This was always my routine – turn up extra early, have a little wind down time with a cup of tea.
I always parked my car facing the other way from the house and as the driveway ran past the house, therefore gave myself a little privacy whereby I knew I could have my lunch later in the day in the car without bothering anyone and without anyone bothering me.
Just like a suspected presence of someone without knowing they are there, I turned sideways and was a little startled to see Medeia Odessa just standing there looking in my window. It was odd.
I wound down the window and asked if all was ok, I stated that I would get going in a minute. Evander Arasto had been in the hospital but I fully expected him to be home today. This was a surprise.
She looked at me and with limited vocabulary muttered in a state of tears that Evander had died last night.
Once out of the car I gave her a hug; which was one of the most awkward things to do. It didn’t take any special effort, it was not however how I wanted to be with her, not in this light, not where it was me who had to do the comforting. I didn’t remember her comforting me in any way when she had deliberately made it clear that she would not be making any special compromises my way.
I let her have a cry right there.
Eventually she regained her composure and I let her talk. I did my best to keep things on an even keel. Why hadn’t she kept in touch and let me know what was happening? She had frozen me out and now we’re dealing with a crisis. I knew this probably couldn’t have been avoided, but I could have been more involved.

Eventually, acceptance of it all sunk in. Within an hour or so another gardener turned up to do some work for Medeia Odessa. This gardener was more or less a flower border gardener and we often crossed paths whilst working away in the same garden.
The flower border gardener worked solely for Medeia Odessa.
I felt that my supporting and caring was done now that and because the flower border gardener was here. I passed that responsibility over to the flower border gardener.
I felt I had been denied the company of Evander Arasto in his hour of need and here was me comforting the very lady who had denied me one of Evander Arasto’s last wishes.
Shortly afterward I said I was going to go home and leave her to sort things out. I was sure that the flower border gardener and herself could cope better than if I was to hang around. But Medeia Odessa was adamant that I should work in the garden and complete whatever task I had been doing, or just carry on as only I knew how. So I did.

1994 –
Rhoda rises –
Well, that was Rhoda Acantha all over. Blow hot and cold.
After she had asked me to ‘please to come back and we can start again’ whilst I was stood on the door step of what used to be our house, I didn’t even hesitate. Yeah, I was on my own right now, but no, I didn’t need anymore of this.
‘No, it won’t work. You know it won’t work, we gave it long enough. I don’t want to be reminded of all the tricks and ……….just everything really.’
It was a proposition that I couldn’t accept. I had standards and I lived by morals, morals that were true and meant something.
‘I sort of knew you’d say that’ she replied.’ Had to try though’.
So how about showing some regret, how about an apology, how about saying something which had some meaning to it rather than just asking to start again. 
She never had the decency to be honest with me and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get.
She couldn’t do that.
OK, I had had the admission that the marriage was a stitch up. I had her cornered fairly and squarely at the time. To suit her she had come clean then. Now though she couldn’t give me the respect I deserved for to understand – why?
Did I feel sorry for her right there and then? No.
I was hurt if anything.

1996,
Hero to Zero –
The housing market was a fickle thing. Interest rates started high when we bought that house and went even higher. They stabilised for a while whilst we were getting divorced. A few years down the line after we had separated, the housing market went into free fall. Rhoda Acantha sold the house for £22500 less than we had paid for it.
I guess I had the last laugh there, I mean what sort of property expert couldn’t see that one coming. The big looser was Abbadon Amon as it was his money that made up that sum. This plus a little bit more was the figure that he sought to recover.
Maybe then when looking at it from a slightly different angle, maybe he could see the market going the way it did. Maybe he wanted not to lose that amount of money, maybe he wanted to secure that amount by other means so as not to end up throwing that amount away.
I don’t feel sorry for him. He chased me for money that wasn’t owed.

2015 –
I don’t work gardening at weekends anymore. I was never asked back by Medeia Odessa.